Don't Fall
by Empress of the Eclipse
Summary: Matt tries to get over TK's death. Contains Taito and attempted suicide. It's my first ever Taito fic so please be friendly!
1. Don't Fall

  
Don't Fall  
By Starrysapphire, Taito Empress  
  
This is a YAOI fic and TAITO. Or to put it more plainly, it's a Tai/Matt fic with SLASH and it's my first Digimon fic (I know that Harry Potter and the Keeper of Friendship was posted first but this one was written first) so please be kind people. This fic also contains attempted suicide, self harm and other nasty things.  
  
Disclaimer - Nothing in Digimon belongs to me, it belongs to some lucky Japanese person who have been kind enough to lend the characters to me for a little while.  
  
NOTE; Some readers may notice the lack of any character from Season 2. Well there's a simple reason for that, when this fic was written, I had never seen any Season 2 (us English people always get everything last, grrrrr, moan, wail, gnash teeth etc, etc). Therefore, I don't really know anything about them and can't write about them (plus I'm very uncertain about their names and everything). So this is sort of an alternative universe fic where Season 2 hasn't actually happened. In case you haven't noticed, this is SLASH, YAOI, whatever you like to call it. It's TAITO or whatever. If that offends you, then don't read. If it offends you and you read anyway, PLEASE don't flame me. I've tried to make it very clear that this is slash, I've said it about three times and I don't want pointless flames.  
  
I was woken up by Kari crying.  
It wasn't the first time I'd been woken by her crying since it had happened. But there was something different this time. A different type of sob.  
"Kari?" I whispered, rolling over and looking down at her "Kari?"  
But she wasn't there. I noticed that the door was slightly open and there was a light on. Frowning, I climbed out of bed and walked out.  
Mum and Dad were sitting on the sofa. Mum was hugging Kari who was crying. I felt a violent feeling of deja vu, like I'd been thrown back eleven months.  
"Kari?" I said, trying to swallow my alarm "Dad? Mum?"  
They all looked up.  
"Oh Tai," Mum said "Oh Tai."  
"What's happened?" I whispered.  
They looked at each other. It was Kari who answered.  
"It's Matt," she said, her voice choked with tears "He slashed his wrists. He's in a critical condition in hospital. They don't know..."  
Her voice broke off and she began sobbing again. But I couldn't concentrate on that. Not now.  
'This is all your fault....'   
I ignored the voice in my head.  
"Why?" I whispered "Why?"  
But we all knew why. The events sparked off eleven months ago...  
* * * *  
I was woken by the telephone ringing. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. 2:36AM.  
"Kari?" I muttered.  
"I'm awake," she replied "Why's the phone ringing so early?"  
I shrugged. I heard Mum answer it, curled up and dozed off again.  
A little while later, I was woken again, this time by Kari's hysterical sobs. Rolling out of bed, I hurried out. Kari was in Mum's arms, tears gushing down her cheeks. Mum was crying too and even Dad was looking tearful.   
"What's happened?" I demanded "What's the matter?"  
"Tai," Dad said, his voice quiet and gentle "It's your friend, Takeru Takaishi. I'm afraid he's....I'm afraid....."  
"What?" I shouted.  
Kari answered.  
"He's dead!" she wailed "TK's dead!"  
* * * *  
I didn't believe it at first. I don't think anyone did. TK was only 13. How could he be dead?   
I remember everyone's reactions so clearly. Sora's quiet tears, Izzy's shock, Mimi's hysterics, Joe trying to conceal tears and failing. Kari's bitter tears. My own confused feelings, misery one moment, anger the next, then despair.  
But Matt....  
When I saw him at the funeral, I was startled. He looked so strange. His face blank, like marble. His body completely stiff and unresponsive. His eyes cold and opaque. Everyone around him was crying or mourning visibly. But he was just standing there, strangely detached.  
Afterwards, I walked up to him when he was standing alone by the grave.  
"Matt?" I said.  
He looked at me.  
"Tai," he said.  
His voice was completely lacking in any emotion.  
"I've come to say I'm sorry," I said "I'll miss him. We all will."  
"Yes," he said.  
That was all. He turned back to the gravestone.  
"Matt," I said slowly "If you want to talk....about anything..."  
He shrugged.  
"Yeah. Thanks," he said.  
I wasn't sure what to do.  
"I'll see you?" I said eventually.  
He nodded.  
I turned to go.  
"Tai..." he blurted suddenly.  
I turned. For a second, his marble mask had crumbled and I saw a frightened, pleading boy beneath the ice. Then it hardened again.  
"Nothing," he said, turning away.  
Shrugging, I turned and left him.  
I wish I'd stayed now.  
* * * *  
After that, everything changed. Before TK's death, us once Digidestined used to often meet up, to talk about general life or just reminisce. Oh, we saw each other in school but that was practically it. We rarely even spoke to each other. It reminded us all too much of TK. Matt never spoke to any of us. I hardly ever saw him in school. I heard a group of the kids calling him Marble-Boy. Cruel but probably accurate.   
One day, I ran into him at the library. He was sitting, staring down at a book.  
"Matt?" I said, sitting down next to him.  
He didn't even look up. I looked at him and nearly had a heart attack. His face was drawn and pinched and white as paper. His eyes were slightly glazed and looked huge in his face.   
"Matt!" I said, barely keeping the shock out of my voice.  
This time he looked up.  
"Tai," he said. For a second, I thought I saw something in his eyes. But then they became closed again.  
"What's happened to you?" I said, unable to stop myself "You look terrible!"  
He didn't say anything, just stared at me. I could practically feel myself shrivel up underneath his cold glare.  
"I'm sorry," I said awkwardly "I didn't mean that the way it came out. You know me. I never think."  
"No," he said.  
I stared at him. I desperately wanted to help but how could I?  
"Matt..." I began.  
He stood up.  
"No wait!" I yelped "Don't go! I didn't mean to upset you!"  
"Just leave me alone," he hissed. I trembled at the venom I could hear in his voice. He turned and stalked out of the library. For a second, I just sat there. Then I sprang up and rushed out.  
"Have you seen Matt?" I asked the nearest kid. He stared at me blankly.  
"Ishida Yamato?" I said desperately "Tall, blonde. Looks slightly femmine?"  
"Him?" the kid said "He went into the bathroom down there."  
I nodded my thanks and rushed into the bathroom.  
It was empty except for Matt. He jerked round when I opened the door, his eyes looking wider than ever. He shoved something quickly behind his back.  
"Matt," I said "Please. I'm really sorry I offended you. I want to..."  
My voice trailed off. Matt was standing at the sink. The water was running. But not quickly enough. I could see the strange pink stains on the white enamel.  
"Matt?" I whispered.  
Then I walked quickly forwards. Before he could get away, I grabbed his arm and pulled it out from behind his back.   
What I saw made me gasp.  
Matt's sleeve was rolled up and it was a mass of scratches, recently healed cuts and scars. Blood was welling from a new wound. He was clutching the knife in his hand.  
"Matt!" I gasped again. Removing the knife, I quickly ran the cut under the water and wrapped it up in paper towels. Matt just let me. He was shaking slightly.  
"You should go to the nurse," I said "It needs proper attention..."  
"No!" he snapped. Then quieter "No Tai. Please. It'll be all right, I swear. I'm good at it now. It's not too deep. It doesn't need stitches or anything. Just leave it."  
"How can I leave it?" I asked "You're hurting yourself Matt. I can't just let you do that!"  
"It's not your business Taichi," he said.  
I looked at him. His mask was back in place but his eyes were full of desperation and fear.  
"Please don't tell," he whispered "Please. I'll stop. I will. But you mustn't tell anyone. Please."  
I dithered helplessly. What could I do? I wasn't sure what Matt might do to himself if I told anyone.  
"All right," I said at last "But I want you to promise that if you feel like doing this again you'll talk to me. I'm always ready and available. Always. It doesn't matter what time or anything. I don't want you to hurt yourself."  
He looked at me and nodded. I turned to go.  
"Tai."  
I turned. He was staring at me. His mouth was moving but he didn't seem to be able to say what he wanted to say.  
"Yes?" I said gently.  
"What if you were friends with someone," he said suddenly "Really close friends. And then you realised that your feelings went deeper than that only you didn't know how to tell them because you were afraid of what they'd say?"  
I stared at him. He stared back.  
"I don't know," I said eventually "I guess I'd tell her and hope that even if she didn't feel the same way, she'd be nice enough to still be friends with me."  
Matt nodded. His eyes seemed to be closing up again. Once again I turned to walk out. I had my hand on the doorhandle when he whispered;  
"But what if it's a guy?"  
I stiffened all over. A guy? That was different. Was Matt saying....  
"Are you saying....." I asked.  
"No!" he said "I'm not saying anything. I'm just hypothesising. That's all."  
I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him. As I did, his eyes closed up completely.  
"Forget it," he said "It doesn't matter."  
He pushed past me and walked out, leaving me trying to puzzle everything out.  
* * * *  
Present day.  
He looked very small in the hospital bed. We weren't allowed to go in, had to look though an observation window. His parents were sitting in there, looking pale and drawn. 'We' was the Digidestined.   
"Why would he do this?" Izzy asked for the umpteenth time "Why?"  
"I don't know Izzy! Okay?" I yelled.  
Sora put her hand on my arm.  
"Calm down Tai," she said softly "I know you're upset and angry, but this is a hospital."  
I sighed.  
"You're right Sora. I'm sorry Izzy. I just can't take this."  
Kari pressed her hands against the glass, staring in.  
"Poor Matt," she said softly "He must have been so unhappy to do this."  
"The doctors said that he'd been hurting himself for some time," Izzy said "There were wounds all over his arms."  
"I should have been nicer to him," Joe said "I should have phoned or something."  
"Will you all stop talking about him like he's dead!" I snarled "He's not! He'll be fine! You'll see!"  
Everyone looked at me. I groaned and rested my head against the glass. Tears began pushing at my eyelids as I stared at Matt's prone body, small and white, like a marble statue. Kari put her arms round me.  
"I'm sorry Tai," Sora said softly.  
"Yeah," Mimi agreed "It must be really hard, especially with your relationship being how it is."  
I looked at her.  
"Huh?"  
She blushed. The others all began to look sheepish too.  
"Well, you know," she said awkwardly "What with Matt's feelings for you, I figure this is particularly nasty..."  
I stared at her, my stomach turning to ice.  
"You mean....Matt likes me?" I croaked eventually.  
Mimi's face turned from red to white.  
"You didn't know?" she whispered, sounding horrified.  
I shook my head.   
"Oh," Mimi said. She covered her mouth with her hand "Oh no. Tai, I'm sorry, I just figured you knew. I didn't mean to blurt out a secret."  
"That's okay," I said, turning back to the window. So Matt had been talking about me in the bathroom that day. When I'd seen him....  
I banged my head against the window, tears streaming down my face.  
"Tai, don't!" Kari said, trying to hug me again. I pushed her away.  
"This is all my fault!" I sobbed violently "All my fault!"  
"Don't be silly Tai," Sora said "Of course it's not your fault."  
"Sora's right Tai," Joe said "Just because you didn't realise that Matt liked you doesn't mean that this is all your fault."  
"No!" I sobbed "It is my fault. It is. I knew he was hurting himself and I didn't say anything! I just let him carry on and didn't say anything! This is my fault!"  
I slid to my knees, still crying.  
"Tai, I think you should go home," Izzy said gently "You're over-tired and over wrought. You can't do anything here. Just go home, get some rest. We'll call if anything happens. I promise."  
"No," I said "I can't leave. Not now. This is my fault. I have to stay, help Matt."  
"We'll phone if he wakes up," Izzy said "You aren't doing any good here Tai."  
I obeyed him. Kari took me home and even tucked me up on the couch like I was her little brother.  
"Kari," I asked "Did you know?"  
She paused.  
"I suspected," she said at last "TK...." she broke off, swallowed and then continued "TK said that he thought that Matt liked you and Matt had sort of hinted but we weren't sure and as far as I knew, you didn't feel the same so we never discussed it with Matt."  
I nodded and sank down into the pillows, closing my eyes. Kari paused. Then she whispered, loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough so I could pretend I hadn't heard if I wanted;  
"Do you love Matt? Or even just like him in that way?"  
I paused for a moment.  
"I don't know," I whispered eventually "I just don't know Kari."  
She nodded and left the room, leaving me sinking into a deep well of confusion and guilt and despair.  
Did I love Matt? I didn't know. I had always been close to him, even if we had fought and argued in the Digiworld. I'd always relied on him, even if he hadn't know it. And as we'd got older, I had noticed how good-looking he was, in a vague way.  
But love? That was something else. That was big and a major lifestyle choice to boot.  
I'd been tired before but the confusing thoughts tipped me over the edge. Curling up, I fell into an uneasy sleep.  
* * * *  
I was dreaming. I knew I was dreaming but I couldn't wake up. In the dream, I was back in the Digital World with Argumon and all the others around me. We were fighting something, but I couldn't see it. Everything was shrouded in fog. Then TK began to walk into the fog.  
"TK!" I shouted "Stop! It's not safe there!"  
He turned and smiled at me.  
"Don't worry Tai!" he called "I can take care of myself!"  
"But TK!" I called "We need you here."  
"Nah," he said "You'll do great. See ya!"  
"WAIT!" I yelled.   
But he was gone, swallowed up in the swirling fog.  
"TK!" Matt shouted from beside me "Wait for me!"  
I grabbed his arm.  
"Matt!" I yelled "You can't go too! I need you here!"  
"Sorry Tai," he said, pulling away "TK needs me more. You know that."  
He began to walk into the fog. I dived after him.  
"Wait!" I nearly screamed "Matt please! Don't leave me! I need to keep you here! You can't go, not yet!"  
He looked at me.  
"But TK..." he said, sounding uncertain.  
"You know he can take care of himself!" I said "Please don't leave me."  
For a second, I thought he'd stay. Then he shrugged.  
"Sorry Tai," he said, sounding regretful "I didn't want it to be this way. But it's too late. See you soon."  
"NO!" I screamed but it was too late. Matt was swallowed up in the fog.  
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"  
"Tai! Tai wake up! Tai!"  
My eyes snapped open. Mum was bending over me, her eyes wide.  
"You were screaming," she said softly "Are you all right?"  
I nodded, trembling. Then I looked at her.  
"The hospital," I said "Is there any news?"  
She shook her head.  
"Nothing yet. Visiting hours are over and Kari's staying the night with Sora. She said something about you maybe wanting time on your own. Matt's parents promised that they'd phone immediately if there's anything."  
She turned to go.  
"Mum," I said "How did TK die?"  
She stiffened.  
"What?" she said.  
"How did he die?" I repeated "I've never asked."  
"Tai," Mum said softly "I really don't think...."  
"I want to know," I said "Please. I want to know."  
She sat down by me and stroked my hair.  
"TK was over at Matt's house," she said quietly "You know. The new place that they moved into recently. Mr Ishida had gone out to work for a while. They were playing outside on the balcony."  
She paused.  
"We don't really know what happened," she said "We only know what Matt told us and he wasn't very forthcoming. He says that he went inside for a moment. He came out just in time to see TK fall off the balcony rail."  
Tears began to push at my eyes again.  
"Matt phoned the ambulance straight away but...." she stopped, seeing my face "Oh Tai, I'm sorry. We didn't like to tell you children, thought you'd act strange around Matt. All us adults knew but..."  
"You should have told me!" I shouted, tears running down my face again "I could have helped him! Instead he's in hospital, dying, because no one tried to talk to him!"  
I turned and stormed out of the house, leaving Mum calling my name behind me.  
* * * *  
I wandered around aimlessly before ending up at the hospital. I knew visiting hours were over but I sneaked in anyway. Matt's parents were sleeping on chairs outside. Creeping past and avoiding all doctors, I sneaked into Matt's room.  
His curtains were slightly open and a shaft of moonlight had spilled onto his face. He looked so pale and small and thin. Not like the Matt I knew and....  
And what? Liked? Loved?  
"Matt?" I whispered "I don't know if you can hear me. Visiting hours are over and it's family only anyway so I have to whisper."  
Matt didn't even flicker but I carried on.  
"I want to say I'm sorry Matt. I want to say how sorry I am about everything. I'm sorry I wasn't more use. And I'm sorry about what happened to TK. Mum told me the truth. I know how it must feel, that you probably blame yourself for his death. But it wasn't your fault. Truly."  
I wasn't sure how to carry on and stared at Matt's shadowy face. It was so still. So still...  
"Tai..."  
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Matt spoke! He'd woken up!  
"Matt!" I whispered, inching closer so I could see him better "Matt, how do you feel?"  
He ignored the question, just stared at me out of his shadowed eyes.  
"You don't understand," he whispered, his voice bitter "You don't know."  
"Don't know what?" I asked.  
Nothing. He turned his head away.  
"Matt," I said. Suddenly I reached over and gripped his hand. He tried to pull away but I hung on "Maybe I don't understand. So help me. Tell me."  
"She didn't tell you the truth," he whispered.  
"Who?"  
"Your mother. She doesn't know...." he broke off with a violent shiver "...what happened to TK."  
"Then you tell me the truth," I suggested gently, still holding his hand "Tell me what happened to TK."  
So he did. He described it so well, it was like I was there, watching silently as it unfolded.  
* * * *  
"Wow Matt!" TK said "This place is the best!"  
"Well, it's not bad," Matt said "I suppose it's better than the last apartment."  
"Wow, you've got a balcony from your room!" TK yelled. Rushing over, he opened to door and ran out.  
"Take care TK!" Matt called from his room where he was sitting on the bed "There's a broken tile near the door. You'll hit your head on the railings if you fall. Dad's going to fix it sometime but until then we have to remember that it's there."  
"Sure!" TK said, carefully avoiding the tile. He peered over the edge.  
"It needs a bigger rail," Matt mumbled to himself "It's only a small balcony anyway. Tiny."  
Giggling, TK scrambled up onto it.  
"TK!" Matt said "Get off that!"  
"Look Matt!" TK called back "No hands!"  
He waved his hands around, gripping on with only his knees.  
"Stop it TK!" Matt yelled.   
"Woah!" TK yelped as he slipped slightly. He squeezed the rail tighter with his knees but refused to grip with his hands, still showing off. Leaping up, Matt ran out to grab TK.  
He'd forgotten about the loose tile.  
As he tripped, he instinctively flung out his arms to catch himself. His hands shoved violently against TK's body. TK, already unbalanced, couldn't catch himself in time.  
"TK!!!" Matt screamed helplessly as TK tumbled off the rail "NO!!! TK!!!!!!!!"  
He watched as TK fell slowly though the air, hitting another balcony rail and bouncing off it before hitting the pavement, six stories below, his small body crumpled on the pavement. For a second Matt stood there frozen. Then he leapt up and ran to the phone, all ready knowing, deep down, that it was too late and TK was dead or dying. And it was all his fault.'   
* * * *  
I sat there, staring silently at Matt. He was beginning to shake violently.  
"I killed him Tai!" he whimpered "I killed TK. I killed my own brother!"  
"No Matt," I said, finding my voice "No, it was an accident. You couldn't help it."  
"I knew about the broken tile! I knew about it!" Matt cried "And I fell! I should have been more careful! I should have..."  
His voice broke off and he began to cry, violently sobbing. For a second, I hesitated. Then I pulled him upright and cradled him in my arms as he cried.  
"I'm so sorry," I heard him say under his tears "I'm so, so sorry."  
I didn't ask what he was apologising for. I just held him, pressing my face into his blonde hair, trying to soothe him. Eventually he relaxed slightly and his tears slowed slightly.  
"I couldn't tell anyone Tai," he croaked "I couldn't. Mum and Dad would kill me. They would. They'd blame me. And I knew Kari would if she found out and so would the others. I couldn't talk to anyone! I had to sleep in the same room as the balcony death-trap, knowing what had happened and being unable to do anything! And everything was so horrible without TK. It was like standing beside a cliff and trying not to fall over the edge all the time! And it wasn't just that! Normal life things just seemed so hard! Friends, work, the remainder of my family......everyone thought I should be behaving in certain ways and I didn't know how to be! And then I knew you..." his voice broke off suddenly and I felt him twitch in my arms.   
"You knew I what?" I asked softly.  
He paused and I thought he wouldn't answer. Then eventually he whispered the answer so softly that I could barely hear it.  
"I knew you didn't want me."  
I stared down at the top of his head which was shuddering slightly. Before I could say anything, Matt continued, words spilling out of him. I got the impression that he'd wanted to say them for a long time.  
"I always knew I was different Tai, even when I was eleven. I looked up to you and admired you more than anything. I thought you were beautiful. Only even then I knew there was something wrong with my feelings so I covered them by always arguing with you and fighting you. Then we left the Digital World and I had no real excuse to be near you. I missed you so much. And I got older and everything intensified and I knew what it meant. But I couldn't tell you! How could I ever tell you? And I knew that everyone thought that being like....like that....was wrong and how could I ever admit to it? So I hid it more and more and then TK died and then there was just...."  
His voice broke off in more violent hysterical sobs. I rocked him tightly in my arms, waiting for him to continue which he did.  
"There was no one I could talk to, no one! I accidentally let Mimi know once but she promised to keep it quiet..."  
I couldn't help wondering if Mimi had broken her promise or if the others had just guessed but I didn't say anything, just let Matt continue.  
"And I was in so much pain and I couldn't say anything! And then one day when I was cooking, I accidentally cut myself with the vegetable knife and it helped and I kept doing it to get rid of the pain."  
"What made you..." I stopped, trying to think of a tactful word - possibly the first time I've ever bothered.   
I didn't need to though. Matt knew what I meant.  
"It was all just so hopeless!" he wailed and I had to shush him in case one of the hospital staff heard him and came to find out what the noise was about.  
"There was no one Tai," he said, his voice quiet again "No one. In the Digiworld, I had Gabumon to talk to. He helped me before I was swallowed up by the darkness. This time, there was no one. Not even TK. I didn't know how to save myself, to pull myself back from the edge. Not this time."  
I sat there, still staring down at his head. I realised how close Matt had come to the edge when he'd left us before in the Digiworld. Only this time, he'd dropped into it.  
"Oh Matt," I whispered "You could tell me. You can tell me anything. You know that."  
He looked up at me, his azure eyes still filled with unshed tears, trembling at the corners  
Then he was tightly pressed against me, his mouth hard on mine.  
I was so startled, I pulled away. He flushed.  
"Sorry," he whispered "Sorry."  
For a second, I just stared, my mind full of doubts.  
Then I leaned forward and kissed him.  
We just clung to each other, kissing passionately. I wasn't focusing on anything else, just Matt in my arms. Then he pulled back.  
"I don't want you to do this because you're sorry for me," he said in a passionate whisper.  
He looked so like the old Matt that I'd known, I couldn't help smiling.  
"Matt," I said softly "You know me. You know I'd never ever betray you like that. I love you."  
He stared at me. Then he smiled. The first smile I'd seen from him for eleven months. I grinned back.  
This touching moment was ruined when I had to throw myself under the bed to avoid being caught by a nurse who had come in to check that everything was all right.  
The End   
  
Well, that's the end of this part. If you want me to continue please REVIEW. Oh and also, please don't flame me pointlessly. I did warn you. 


	2. Holding On

Holding On  
By Starrysapphire, Taito Empress  
  
Disclaimer - Yeah, yeah, Digimon belongs to someone else, yadda, yadda, yadda, lets move on.  
Yes, this is Slash, yaoi, Taito which you should already know from reading the first part. Please don't flame, I have warned you, I hate useless flames.  
Like last time, any continuity glitch-ups, please say so in your REVIEW. And no, S2 hasn't happened yet.  
Thanks for everyone who reviewed the first one and asked for a next part, sorry this has taken so long. My account decieded to be a miserble bitch and wouldn't let me post chapters. But I hope this was worth the wait.  
  
Coming home from hospital is like entering another world. A world with air and colours. But it felt big. Scary.  
The apartment was changed. Anything I could use to hurt myself was hidden or locked away.  
Tai took me into my room which had been tided and thoroughly gone though. Quietly, Tai drew the curtains over the balcony door which I knew had been locked so I couldn't jump off. I sat on the bed and looked around.  
"How are you?" Tai asked gently.  
I shrugged and nodded.  
"No room under this bed for you," I teased him gently.  
Tai groaned.  
"Not funny Yamato," he said "Three hours under that bed. And then I got caught. It was a nightmare!"  
I grinned faintly then lay down. Tai came over and lay down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.  
"When are we going to tell your dad?" he asked, sounding slightly hesitant "He's likely to notice something."  
"My father?" I said, barely stifling a scornful snort "It took him two hours to wonder where TK and I had gone on that night and another half hour to find the note. He probably wouldn't realise if we started kissing right in front of him!"  
Tai sat up and I suddenly realised that my body was shaking violently.   
"Sorry," I whispered "Sorry."  
"That's okay," Tai said "You still have lots of - what did that nurse say? - inner rage."  
I shrugged and tried to stop myself shaking. Tai lay down again and began kissing my cheek lightly, trying to help me.  
"Do you want to tell your parents?" I asked, struggling to relax.  
Tai winced.  
"No," he said, sounding a bit guilty "I'd rather keep it secret for a little bit."  
"Worried about how people will react?" I asked.  
He looked even more guilty.  
"Maybe a bit," he said.  
I understood. Admitting you're gay, even to yourself is hard and it took me ages to accept what I was. I didn't care if Tai wanted it kept secret or shouted from the rooftops. All that mattered was that I was with Tai.  
Reaching up, I ran my hand down his face. He has such smooth skin. His lips met mine and I clung on, stroking his hair.  
Then the door banged open. Tai leapt away from me so fast, he fell off the bed and landed on the floor with a crash.  
"Nice move Tai," Sora said.  
"Really discreet," Izzy agreed.  
The Digidestined were standing there, arms full of food, obviously ready for a party. They were all laughing at us.  
"Haven't you people heard of knocking?" Tai demanded, getting to his feet and glaring at them. They all grinned back, completely unfazed. Kari came over and sat on the bed, emptying her armful of things.  
"Presents and party food," she said cheerfully.  
"I remembered the drinks," Joe said, sounding very proud.  
"It's a Welcome Home party," Mimi said "But we thought if you were too tired, we could leave it here and have it another time."  
"We did?" Joe yelped "But as well as drinks, I brought Peanut Butter and Chocolate Ice Cream and that's my favourite! Plus, it'll melt."  
I tried not to laugh at Joe's look of outrage.  
"You guys didn't have to do this. Really," I said "But since you have....who am I to keep Joe away from his Peanut Butter and Chocolate Ice Cream?"  
"Thank you!" Joe said promptly.  
"Well I think that stuff's gross!" Mimi said "I prefer eating healthy snacks."  
Tai made a disbelieving snorting noise and then grabbed the tub of Peanut Butter and Chocolate Ice Cream. Joe gave a furious yelp and tried to get it back.  
Leaning back against my pillows, I laughed as Joe chased Tai round the room.  
And the pain was gone. For a while.  
* * * *  
"TK!" I yell "Get off that!"  
"Look Matt!" he calls back "No hands!"  
"Stop it TK!" I shout.  
He grins at me, precariously balanced on the balcony rail. Then he slips slightly. "Woah!"  
I have to get him off that rail. He'll fall in a minute. I run towards him....  
....then my foot collides with the broken tile. I fall forwards with a yell, my hands flying out to catch me. They slam into TK, knocking him. I leap up straight away, but it's too late. TK is already falling.  
"TK!!!" I scream "NO!!! TK!!!!!!!!"  
But it's too late. Nothing I can do. TK tumbles though the air, smacking into another balcony with a painful crack, bouncing off and falling before smashing into the ground, his tiny body crumpled on the floor.  
"TK," I whisper again, feeling in my own bones that whatever I do, it's too late now.  
Then I'm in the hospital, with Mum and Dad, waiting for the news which I know will soon come "We're very sorry...."  
Mum's hysterical tears, Dad trying to comfort her, my own 'eerie' silence. Only I don't want to be silent. TK's dead! He's dead!   
"NOOOO!" I scream "NO! NO! NO! NO! TK! TK!"  
And I know things have changed because in the hospital I couldn't scream, could only sit there, my head in a whirl, feeling sick and knowing I'd killed TK, it was my fault. But in the dream I can scream and I continue to scream only I'm not in the hospital anymore. I'm sinking into a dark cave and there's no one to help me, not this time. I claw at the sides but I'm sliding, sliding. There's nothing I can do except one thing. I keep screaming.  
* * * *  
"Matt! Matt, wake up! Matt!"  
My eyes snapped open. Tai was bending over me, his face pale.  
"Tai!" I gasped "Oh Tai!"  
He wrapped his arms round me and I began to cry again.  
"The same thing?" he murmured into my hair.  
"I still couldn't save him Tai," I whispered "I still couldn't save him!"  
Tai rocked me to and fro, muttering soothing things, holding me as close as physically possible. I sobbed violently until I thought I would be sick. Tai knew I was getting to that point too because he began to rub my shoulders, talking to me.  
"There, there Matt. Stop crying. It's all right, shhhh, stop crying."  
Slowly, my tears stopped. I curled up in the bed like a wounded hedgehog, wishing for my knife. Tai lay down beside me and draped an arm over me, resting his head on my shoulder. Feeling soothed, I dozed off again to more unpleasant dreams.  
* * * *  
After a while, things fell into a pattern. Tai came over every day after school. I had a Nurse to take care of me in the day. Her name was Toshi and I didn't like her very much. She treated me like a dumb kid instead of a sixteen year old. I stayed in my room as much as I could, ignoring her. She kept trying to make me discuss my feelings.  
"I don't have any feelings," I told her eventually "I. Don't. Care. That's it. Completely. Nothing."  
It worked. She stopped going on at me to share. But I still hated her and looked forward to Tai arriving.  
But nothing was easy. The pain inside me still ached so badly. I kept looking for something to use to remove the pain. Sometimes I scraped at my arms with my fingernails but it didn't really work. I felt so lost and confused. I didn't want to die anymore. Just remove the pain.  
"Can I go out on the balcony?" I asked Toshi one day.  
"I don't know," she began but I cut her off.  
"Oh please! You'll be with me, I won't throw myself off. I only want some air, just a few minutes! Please?"  
She sighed and then nodded.  
"Okay. Just for a little while though."  
I went out and sat on the balcony. I hated it. It was scary. I kept on seeing TK tumbling off the rail in front of me. But I'd had an ulterior motive. When Toshi wasn't looking, I quickly reached out and scrabbled behind my back until I found what I was looking for.  
The sharp broken tile.  
I slipped a piece into my pocket and kept it hidden. I waited until it was night before going into the bathroom. I looked at my arms. They were both so scarred...so ugly. Grabbing the tile, I slashed myself with it in a reasonably unmarked spot. I watched at the blood trickled out, the pain inside ebbing. After a while, I carefully cleaned it and bandaged it. Then I hid the broken tile behind the sink before going back to my room. Maybe now I could sleep without nightmares.  
* * * *  
The tile was my secret. I tried not to use it too much but I kept needing it. I had to get rid of the pain. I hated feeling so miserable, so depressed all the time.   
Then one evening Tai was over. He was telling me about school, about something some guy had said to him.  
"Tai," I said suddenly "What do people at school think happened to me?"  
He suddenly went very quiet "Um, I don't really know."  
"Liar," I said "You must know. You're one of the most popular kids in school. You hear everything."  
He blushed "Listen Matt, I really think..."  
"Just tell me," I interrupted.  
Tai swallowed.  
"Well, most of the kids reckon that you're sick with flu or something," he said.  
"And the others?"  
Tai looked even more miserable. I obviously was desperately wanting me to drop the subject. A good thing about Tai though is he always tells you the truth. He never misses bits off.  
"Well, a few of them think that you might have tried to top yourself," he said "And a few just think that...that you're sick in the head."  
I froze up. I couldn't help it. Sick in the head? I'm not sick in the head. That's a horrible thing to say.  
"What exactly do they say?" I asked, keeping my voice calm.  
Tai turned his gaze onto the bed.  
"Well, I've only heard a few," he mumbled "A few of the kids think that TK's death drove you over the edge a little. Maybe made you a little crazy. That's all."  
"All. Yeah," I said. The pain was inside me, trying to force it's way out, trying to take me over, make me into a big walking pain-monster, trying to kill me.  
"I have to go to the bathroom," I said and got to my feet. I went in there quickly and snatched the tile. Tears were pushing at my eyelids, running down my face. Pulling up my sleeve, I slashed blindly, not even looking. The pain was excruciating and glancing down, I saw that I'd cut slightly too close to my wrist for comfort. Blood was gushing out steadily, making a mess of the sink.  
"Matt?"  
I realised too late that I'd forgotten to lock the door. Tai opened it. His eyes got huge and horrified. Then he rushed over, grabbing a towel as he did.  
"Matt! Oh god!"  
"I'm sorry!" I sobbed "I'm so sorry!"  
Tai pulled me over to the bath and sat me down. Then he wrapped an arm round me, his other hand pressing the towel to my arm.  
"It's okay Matt. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..."  
He kept saying it over and over as he tried to stem the blood flow. I don't know if he believed it though. He was crying as he tried to soothe me, tears running down his checks in little streams.  
"What did you use?" he asked.  
I pointed at the broken tile.  
"I remembered it," I said "I knew everyone had forgotten that the broken tile would have sharp edges. Hell, everyone except you and me had forgotten about the broken tile. So I got Toshi to let me out there for a few minutes and grabbed it."  
Tai looked at my arms, at the newer cuts. He pulled me closer.  
"Matt," he said, a bit timidly "Maybe you should go and talk to somebody..."  
I cut him off.  
"I don't want to talk to anyone," I said "I don't want to tell some stupid person that I don't even know about my problems."  
Tai gulped.  
"But you've got to get this TK thing off your chest," he said "Otherwise it'll always be haunting you, forever and..."  
He didn't get any further. I punched him in the face with my good arm.  
"Get OVER it!" I screamed at him as he lay on the floor, staring up at me "Get OVER it? How the HELL am I supposed to get over huh? HOW? When Kari dies, YOU try getting over it!"  
"That's not what I meant Matt!" Tai shouted, leaping up. He looked angry and blood was trickling from his nose "I'm talking about how guilty you feel. It wasn't your fault and you have to accept that! Until you can, you'll never stop this!"  
"Who says I want to stop?" I yelled back "Huh? You don't even know how I feel about this! No one does! All they can do is decide that I'm sick in the head! Is that what you think huh? Do you think I'm crazy?"  
"Of course I don't think you're crazy!" Tai yelled, his face pale with rage "I'm only trying to help you!"  
"I don't want your help!" I screamed "I can manage fine without you! Just get lost Tai! Just get lost!"  
"Fine!" Tai yelled "If that's how you feel!"  
Turning, he stormed out of the bathroom and out of the apartment. I dropped onto the edge of the bathtub again, trembling and shaking. Oh God, what had I done? What had I done? I needed Tai, I loved Tai, why had I just yelled like that?  
"Tai...Tai, come back..."  
It came out as a hoarse croak. Anyway, Tai was gone, I'd heard him leave. He'd never come back to me now, never. There was nothing, I'd lost him, I'd lost everything...  
I picked up the tile. It was sharp enough. I could just slash my wrists again, end it, finish it....  
"MATT! MATT!"  
The tile tumbled from my fingers and I turned. Tai had thrown himself into the apartment again and charged into the bathroom, throwing his arms around me. I clung to him, burying my head in his shoulder.  
"God I'm sorry!" he sobbed "I'm so sorry....I left and then.....then I thought.....thought about what you might do....I was so scared....god, Matt, Yama, love, I'm so sorry!"  
I just clung on to him, tears still pouring down my face.  
"Don't leave me," I whispered "Don't ever leave me Tai, please never leave me. I couldn't bear it. I need you."  
Tai nodded.  
"I need you too Matt. I promise, no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. You know I will. I'll never let you down. Never."  
"Promise?"  
"I promise."  
We stood there in the bathroom, arms round each other, crying, for a long time.  
* * * *  
After that, I really began to try. I didn't want to leave Tai, never wanted to leave Tai. We threw out the tile and I tried to think of anything else I could hurt myself with so that we could prevent it. I agreed to try to find someone to talk to. But there was one thing that I wouldn't do, not even for Tai. I wouldn't tell anyone else the truth about TK. I got almost hysterical when Tai tried to convince me.  
"They'd hate me, they'd hate me, they'd hate me!" I sobbed over and over again until Tai put his arms round me and swore that I didn't have to tell them, that he wouldn't and that it would all be okay. He told Dad that I needed counselling and he began sorting it out. While we waited, Tai reassured me that no matter what happened, things would work out, they'd all be great. I wasn't so sure. The pain was still there, it was so difficult to squash. But I'd promised Tai that I'd try...  
Around three weeks later, I started to scratch one spot on my hand, the space between my thumb and index finger. I scratched over and over again. It didn't exactly work like the knife but it made the pain lessen a bit, made me feel better enough not to want to do anything really stupid.  
Tai and I were lying on my bed, snuggled up tightly. I had my eyes closed at was listening to his steady heartbeat thumping gently away. He was playing with my hair.  
"I love you," I whispered to him.  
"I love you too," he whispered back, his face nearly buried in my hair. Smiling, I snuggled closer. My Tai. My beautiful, safe, warm, sweet Taichi. Grinning, Tai tilted my face up to his and kissed me, gently at first, then harder. I was only too happy to let him, pulled him closer. We kissed for a few minutes, just enjoying it. Then Tai's hand started to wander lower, stroking my chest and stomach lightly. At first I didn't really notice until his hands moved slightly lower. That was when I felt a tingle of nervousness. Tai's kisses had changed slightly, there was more of a pressure, a longing in them. He had moved slightly; he was half on top of me now, his hands beginning to play with my shirt buttons. Half of me was ecstatic, want this, wanted to feel Tai's hands on my bare skin but the other half was afraid. Did I want it to go this far? Tai was lying on top of me now, his kisses moving from my mouth to dance lightly over my face and neck before returning. My brain was beginning to have difficulty functioning and I knew that if I had a problem with this, I had to say so now.  
"Tai..."  
He pulled back a little and looked at me. His face was flushed, his eyes filled with desire. I swallowed uncertainly.  
"I don't know..."  
His face fell slightly.  
"You don't have to be afraid," he said "It'd be okay. I'd take care of you."  
I snorted faintly.  
"Like you're the expert!"  
He grinned a bit.  
"Are you sure?" he asked "You know I'd never try to force you into anything you don't want to do."  
For a second, I wanted to tell him to forget it and kiss him again. But I couldn't deny it, I was afraid of taking such a big step. But what if Tai got upset about it? What if Tai left because of it? What if...?  
"I'll wait," Tai said softly, as though he could read my mind. Which knowing Tai, he probably did have a good idea of what I was thinking.  
I nodded.  
"I'm sorry Tai. It's just...."  
He nodded and got off me, looking a bit sheepish.  
"I'm the one who should be sorry," he said "I should have asked before..."  
He trailed off looking a bit embarrassed. For a second, we just stared at each other. Then I broke the silence.  
"So, anyway, you had some history homework for me?"  
"Oh yeah!"  
Tai looked relieved at the distraction and ducked down to grab his bag. I swallowed and pushed away my feelings. I wasn't going to do anything until I was ready. And that was my last word on that matter.  
* * * *  
For a few days, Tai was a little wary round me, obviously a bit embarrassed after what had happened. But then everything was back to normal and things were the same. Things actually seemed to be looking up. I wasn't even seeing anybody yet but I was still feeling a bit better about myself. Even knowing what I'd done, Tai still loved and wanted me. He still insisted that it wasn't my fault. Could he actually be telling the truth? I wasn't sure. But the pain inside was a bit less. I didn't want to die, didn't want to hurt myself nearly so much. I think people sensed it. I still had Toshi with me in the day but she was slightly more lax. I wasn't on twenty four hour watch. The nights pretty much belonged to me although Dad made regular checks on me. Things were looking up a bit.   
Until.....  
Tai wasn't there. Dad and I were eating take-out food.  
"TK used to like this," I said softly.  
Dad glanced at me then looked back at his food.  
"Matt," he said suddenly.  
"Yeah?"  
"How did TK really die?"  
I stiffened. Why was he asking me that?   
"I told you. I went off the balcony," I said "When I came back, he was falling."  
Dad nodded.  
"Are you sure that's what happened?" he asked, keeping his voice neutral.  
"Of course I'm sure!" I snapped. Why was he asking these questions? Did he suspect me, was he going to keep asking me, try to wear me out, oh God, if he found out he'd hate me, he already looks angry...  
"Matt!"  
I suddenly realised that I was kneeling on the floor. I couldn't breathe properly, felt scared, sick. I was crying with fear, struggling to gasp in air, shaking violently. My heart was pounding violently, like it was trying to break out of my ribs. What was wrong with me?  
"Matt, should I call an ambulance?"  
I wasn't sure, didn't want to go back to hospital, all those questions, no colours, a nightmare.   
"Tai," I forced out "Get Tai..."  
I needed him there, needed Tai, needed my love. He'd help me breathe, make everything okay.  
By the time Tai arrived, I was breathing easier, had stopped crying. Tai took me to bed and tucked me in like a kid, whispering that it would all be okay.  
"What happened?" I asked him.  
"I think you had a panic attack," Tai said softly "It's okay though."  
I waited until he'd gone out, then walked over to the door and listened.  
"He had a panic attack I think. Shortness of breath, fear, feelings of sickness...Kari had some after TK first died. What was happening at the time?"  
"I was asking him about TK's death."  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm not entirely satisfied that Matt's been telling us the truth," Dad said sounding grim "I over-heard you and him talking once."  
Oh God...  
"Really?" Tai said.  
"He was saying that he hadn't meant to do it," Dad said "And you said that no one would think that he had and Matt said that everyone wouldn't hate him if they ever found out the truth about TK."  
Tai said nothing. I was shaking again. Oh God my father suspected. Oh God. What was I going to do?  
"Well Tai? Why else would he have a panic attack when I started questioning him?"  
"It's not my business," Tai said flatly "You shouldn't have been listening to our conversation."  
"This is my house!"  
"But it's illegal to spy on other people, even in your own house," Tai said.  
Dad made an angry noise.  
"Matt should be okay now," Tai said "I'd better go."  
I heard him leave then crept back to bed. I huddled down, trying to protect myself with the blankets.  
"I'm sorry..."  
The words slipped out without me even intending to say them. I hurt so much. Just wanted to cut myself, to get rid of the ache inside. I began trembling, scratching my skin over and over. I was a bit surprised when it started bleeding but didn't stop until my finger was slipping on the blood, smearing it everywhere. Then I licked the blood off, tasting the coppery old-coins taste in my mouth before curling up and sleeping uneasily in a sleep plagued with nightmares.  
* * * *  
I was wary round Dad after that. He didn't see my cut. Tai did. I told him the truth about it. He looked incredibly upset but just begged me not to do it again. He also pleaded with me, begging me to tell my father the truth. I started to have another panic attack when he suggested it and he gave up, just gently stroked my back as I trembled and shook.   
"Matt, I'll always love you, no matter what," he told me quietly "You never have to worry about what I'll say. I'll always stick by you."  
I smiled at him weakly.  
"I know Taichi," I said "I know you will."  
"Good," he said.  
It was two days later that Dad sat me down and demanded that I told him the truth.  
"I know you've been lying Yamato," he said bluntly "I'm sorry if it upsets you but I think that I have a right to know how my son died."  
I stared at him, struggling not to panic.  
"Dad..."  
"The truth Yamato!"  
I swallowed painfully. Those horrible memories.  
"We...we were out on the balcony..."  
"Yes?"  
"TK....he was showing off, sitting on the rail, waving....had to stop him...."  
"And?"  
"Dad please!" I begged "Please don't, please just leave it, please..."  
"No!" he shouted "Dammit Matt, I want to know what really happened to my son! Don't you think I have? Don't you think that your mother has a right to know?"  
I swallowed again, fighting the tears that were bubbling up.  
"I ran to grab him....the broken tile..."  
Dad went very quiet suddenly.  
"I fell....threw out my hands.....I....I....I..."   
"You pushed him."  
His voice was toneless. I collapsed, sobbing into my hands.  
"I'm sorry!" I howled "I'm so, so sorry, it was an accident, I forgot about the loose tile..."  
"You forgot!" he shouted "You FORGOT! How could you forget about that tile?"  
"I was trying to stop TK falling!" I wailed "It slipped my mind!"  
My sobs grew more violent as my memory dredged up the visions of that awful day.   
"I didn't mean to!" I sobbed "It wasn't intentional, I tripped, it was an accident, it wasn't my fault..."  
Dad slapped me across the face. My tears stopped straight off. I stared at him, eyes huge. I'd never seen Dad so angry.  
"Go to your room!" he shouted "How dare you sit there and say that? You're brother is dead because of your irresponsibility! And you didn't even see fit to tell us the truth! GET TO YOUR ROOM!"  
I fled. If I'd been thinking, I'd have realised that it was only the shock and upset that made him so irrational. But I wasn't thinking. My brain was swimming, I couldn't focus. I crouched on the bedroom floor, crying bitterly. Tai wasn't there, where was he, I needed Tai! Maybe Tai didn't want me. I heard Dad on the phone. He'd been telling everyone, they'd all hate me, ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod...  
I had to get out.  
Staggering to my feet, I crept to the doorway. I was right. Dad had left his house keys on the hall table. I could hear him on the phone, telling someone. I walked up to the keys, picked them up, opened the door and fled out into the darkness.  
* * * *  
I wasn't sure how long I wandered. I only woke up from my semi-trance when I nearly got knocked over by a car. The driver angrily hooted and then went off. It didn't matter to me. I'd have been happy to die. It was raining, water dripping down my head, down my neck, soaking my clothes. I didn't care. I couldn't stand it. Not anymore. Everyone hated me.  
I walked to the highest bridge I knew about. Slowly, I climbed up it. It fell down onto hard concrete. I sat at the top, staring silently down at the concrete. If I fell, I'd die. Die and be with TK and the pain would be gone and everything would be okay...  
Tears began to roll down my face. It was an accident, I didn't mean to hurt him, now everyone hated me, now they'd all want to kill me...  
"I'm so sorry," I whispered "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."  
I chanted it over and over again, edging closer to the edge. One last shove and I'd be flying, flying though the air like TK had...  
"MATT!"  
I glanced down. It was Mrs Yagami, her eyes huge with terror.  
"Go away!" I yelled down at her "Leave me alone!"  
"God Matt, don't do anything!" she shouted "Tai and the others are coming, just don't do anything!"  
I vaguely wondered what she was doing there. I supposed that Dad had got search parties out. Probably wanted to kill me himself.  
I edged closer to the edge.  
"Matt! Matt, don't, don't!"   
It was Tai. He began to climb towards me, staring up at me in fright.  
"Go away Tai!" I sobbed "Leave me alone! It doesn't matter anymore, you hear me? It doesn't matter. Just leave me alone!"  
"Matt, you can't!" Tai cried, his voice wild "You can't leave me, you can't!"  
"I can't take this anymore!" I choked "I can't stand the pain! My father hates me, everyone hates me, I've got nothing, nothing..."  
My grip loosened. If I let go now, I'd fall...  
"You have me!" Tai shrieked "You have me, you'll never lose me, you're my Matt, my love! I love you Yamato Ishida!"  
I heard several gasps on the ground below us. I looked at him uncertainly. Tai had been the one who wanted to keep our relationship secret from everyone except the other Digidestined. And now he just screamed it out for anyone to hear.  
"I love you," Tai said, his voice more calm now "And you father loves you and your mother loves you. Your father was upset, it was a shock but he loves you, doesn't want to lose another son. And your friends love you. Kari and Sora and Izzy and Joe and Mimi. We all love you. Don't leave us Yamato. Please don't leave me."  
I looked at him uncertainly.  
"Go with him Matt."  
I blinked uncertainly. Behind Tai's head was a blurry shadow, possibly caused by the rain but maybe...?  
I blinked again. Was it....? Could it be...?  
"Come back to me Matt," Tai whispered. He was on the same level as me, was holding out his hand.  
"Now's not your time Matt."  
Was I imagining it? I didn't know. But...  
"Please come back. Don't leave me now, not now."  
I reached out and gripped Tai's hand. He pulled me carefully over to him and hugged me tight, his tears mingling with the rain water. I hugged him back, shaking and shivering.  
"I love you blonde-boy," he whispered.  
"I love you goggle-head," I whispered back, kissing his ear lightly.  
We began to carefully make our way back down. I felt oddly light, like things were better now. Had I seen TK? I didn't think I'd ever find that out. But it was okay. Tai loved me, he'd love me forever. He'd promised.  
Hands grabbed us as soon as we'd reached the bottom. Dad hugged me, saying how sorry he was, over and over. I wasn't really listening, just felt exhausted.  
"Let's go home," he said softly.  
I nodded. Tai detached himself from his family and walked back with us. We went inside and Dad made us hot chocolate while Tai put me to bed. He sat next to me cross-legged on the bed. I told him what I thought I'd seen. I expected him to say that I was talking crap. He didn't.  
"Maybe you did," he said with a shrug.  
"You don't believe in ghosts," I said.  
"Who said anything about ghosts?" Tai said softly "Maybe it was just your unconscious self telling you what TK would say. Because I know your little brother Matt. And he'd never want you to hurt yourself, never want you to die. He loved you too much for that."  
I nodded, leaned back as Dad came in. I drank the hot chocolate quickly, then leaned back drowsily.  
"Good night," I whispered.  
I dozed off, Tai and Dad with me.   
Maybe everything would be okay now.  
  
The End.  
  
Starrysapphire's Note; Hey, I hope that was a good second part. Is that enough or do you want more? If you do, any suggestions/comments you want to make would be appreciated, my talents are stretched at the moment and I love people's help and opinions. Thanks.  
  



End file.
